| its been forever... |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|11:35 pm] |
Shiiit. I havent wrote in here forever. I just feel like updating. We'll so much has happend... Well kinda. Right now I am living in Bakersfield...
Well.. the emotional thing in my life right now is that my parents split up... its kinda crazy after years of saying it my mom finally did. I am 22 years old. U think it wouldnt hurt so much... But, it breaks my heart. I feel so sad. It makes me very scared of ever getting married. I just wanna cry everytime I think of it... Its been about 8 months now already since my mom moved out with megan and her kids... My mom already started dating... Its kinda crazy.. I really cant handle it. SHe is just not the same to me... like u know how u look up to ur parents.. like no matter how much they struggle and how unperfect they were... they were still an influence in my life. So when I see my mom with another guy and obviously doing things that arent exactly godly... not saying i am innocent... but, its just a dissapointment. Its like dont bring me up a certain way of believing... in God and whats right.. and then all the sudden change over night into a person I just dont understand anymore. My mom says why dont I ever say anything about my dad? Maybe cuz, he isnt bringin whoever he is seeing around me... It just hurts. I want her to be happy. but, i see my dad hurtin and it sucks... but, at the same time he did cause most the reason of them not being together. But, it seems like he is doin better.... I think he is seeing the lady he decided to cheat on his whole family with. But, as long as they both are over it it will be a little better. But, I just have to try to not think about it. I have broke down time to time about it. but, for the most part I am doing good..
As far as guys...
I have a couple.. haha.
There is this guy marcus at work...
he is light skinned black... with light eyes... soo he's gorgeous... He is 30.. haha. BUt, def dont look it... We just are real flirty now... and we were suppose to hang out last thursday... but, of course it didnt work out... and plus he is married... and i dont need to be gettin shot. So. I am sure thats going nowhere lol.
Then a guy named David at work...
he is like 6 foot ... super tall... he is mixed... black and white... lol.. I know... I like black guys all the sudden... its kinda weird. ha
aNYways.. me and him have been just talkin for about 2 months already... I mean just at work.. about my last hour-half hr of work he goes by my desk and talks to me... and it was cool at first.... but, it kinda gets on my nerves now... i mean i think he is lackin some personality or something... and he must be fuckin clueless how to talk to a girl... i mean obviously he is into me ... but, has he asked for my number? Noooo! What a dumb butt... K, so he asked me to go to the movies about a month ago... and i was like yeah.. that'd be cool but, i might go to lancaster but i dont know i might not... and that was the end of that.... then like 3 weeks later i made a sarcastic remark sayin oo o that movie was great..,. and he was like whaT? u said u were goin to lancaster.. and i was like yeahh but, a normal guy would have asked for my number already.... and u think he'd have a clue and use the opportunity to ask then... but, no ... he didnt. dang. i have no time for ppl that dont have a clue what to do... i mean at all.....
Cecil is in and outta my life... still havent hooked up since forever though :/
umm...
im about to go hang out with clint and umm yah.
i will update on that tomorrow.
plus all my heartache! </3 |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2005|07:07 pm] |
| [ | How Im Feeling: |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | What im Hearing: |
| | Papa ROach - Scars | ] |
well... today was ok... nahh actually pretty shitty... but whatever! I woke up late for school... and I went to get my shampoo & stuff I baught out of my car and I couldnt find it... so I was pissed....I got so upset I almost cried lol.... so I was callin sarah to see if she took the bag but she wouldnt answer the phone cuz she was @ work... And then I got to school at 9:30 ... 1 hour late.... soo thats 4 hours of school I have missed this week...My bad... But yes... I found my target bag under my folder so that made me soo happy! I rolled a perm on my dollhead... there was lots of clients today... and its gonna be hella busy tomorrow cuz mothers day Sunday... ehh I dread it... :( But the high lights of my day are that... My friend, well I dont really care for her but I guess she is kool now... cuz she gave me some green contacts cuz she knows I love green.... ANd then she even gave me blue ones! I was like YESS!!! soo I'll see how they look... and then Trisha and Christina came and visited me... she wanted to take me to Sizlers but I only have a half hour lunch so its impossible... so she said next time... but, she gave me 4 dollars! SHes a great sis! ANd Liz text me... I always feel special when some1 calls/texts me! And Sarah came and got not just a manicure... a spa manicure baby.... it was kool... took me like 3 hours!!! Cuz I didnt want her to leave.... she gave me a 2 dollar and 50 cent tip... lol she's soo kool! BUt, I had to give my FRIEND 25cents just to use her black nail polish.... which I dont care about givin money but, shes my friend and I just thought that was lame she asked me cuz I've gave her rides home and stuff... and didnt ask for nothin... but, whatever... I just gave her it and didnt fuss... lol I know its just 25 cents but still... it was like woahhh are u serious? So yes when I am w/ Sarah it is ALWAYS fun times... And then I just came home and as I was driving I got emotional.... I miss my cousins and friends in bakersfield real bad... I never thought I Would as much as I do... I kinda wish I didnt leave... I just feel so lonely anywhere I go.... so whats the differnce? I have nobody... SOmetimes I just feel like some of my friends could care less about me... but, I would give 'em anything I could.. I just wish they cared about me as much as I do them I guess... But blahh I am dumb right now...and a bit emo... Im real tired...I saw my brother... I like his hair... I did it! And then I went to get things out of my trunk and I locked my keys in the trunk! ANd I had my alarm set on... sooo I was like Ut Ohh Im fuckin dumb!!! Soo I was like DAddy..... I just blah blah blah.... and he was gonna do his magic and get em out somehow but my mom found my other alarm... I so thought we lost that like way long ago... thank goodness we still have it... Anyway yeah... Im bored... and I guess they/u flaked out on me!... but what ever... I'm used to it!!! I dunno what im gonna do now.... probably take a nap... okk talk to u all later... probably just lizzy and tommy who might read this lol.. luv ya guys .... bye!
AsHLEY |
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| BLAHhhh |
[May. 5th, 2005|11:32 pm] |
| [ | How Im Feeling: |
| | drained | ] |
| [ | What im Hearing: |
| | mars volta | ] |
So my day was pretty good... I opened my eyes... got out of bed... opened my door... walked down the hall... to the bathroom... pulled my pants down and went pee... WASHED MY HANDS and then got a towel out of the closet... turned on the water to take a shower... got undressed ... opened the shower curtain... went in the shower... washed my sexy body... wet my hair...shampooed... rinsed....and then...conditioned my hair... and then rinsed again... and then shaved... and rinsed... and then turned off the water... and then opened the shower curtain and put my towel around me and got out... and then I put on deodorant... and put on my panites... and then my bra... and pants/shirt/smock/makeup... blow dryed and then straightened my hair... and then i cleaned my room and then i was gonna be late so i walked outside... opened my car door up... sat down in the car... turned it on... and drove to school... lol ook im done messing around now.... so yes i got to school...and i got a certificate from my teacher for passing gettin out of the freshman room... and then some1 ran in the class and was like... Ms. dags this old lade just fell outside.... and it was soo sad this lady was bleedin and cryin and couldnt move... and no1 could move her or she'd get paralized... sooo yeah it was madness... and then i went to find a station to stay at and i get so be right across from the hottest guy ever! LanDOn... Woahhh I just get so dumb when I see him... But, i think he waved and i didnt even noticed it until after... anyway .... i hope he talks to me soon... cuz yeah... id soo do him... i know thats slutish but i dont care... lol.... id loose my VIRGINITY to him anyday...lol.. sooo and then sarah came in and i gave her a manicure... then i left at 5 and met sarah at target and got some make up/ ausie shapoo/conditioner/hairspray/...and deoderant... and then i came home and talked to lizzy and tommy online... and then I went to Best buy w/ tommy to get Bleed the Dreams cd... but the mofos didnt have it... so i was gonna get new kids on the blocks greatest hits...but, tommy said he wouldnt think i was cool anymore or somethin....so i didnt... cuz i couldnt bare that..lol... and then I went to barns n nobles... and ordered it... so yes i should have it in 5-10 days! YES! Im so excited... and i cant wait to see them on june 1st! It will be great! And then we went to ampm... and some guy was beggin me to get him cigs and i was like nooooo..... lol... and i think he hates me now... but, yeah... and then me and tommy went to burger king... Mmm double cheeseburgers! and we ate and I drove home... and we listened to destinys child... i think tommy liked it...lol... hehe... and then i dropped him off and came on this damn computer....were supposed to hang out tomorrow... but, will see if he flakes lol...but now im talkin to liz and tommy and jess and angelique...soo yeah that is all for now... talk to u all later...love u bye!
ASHLEY |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 28th, 2005|12:43 am] |
| [ | How Im Feeling: |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | What im Hearing: |
| | farewell forever | ] |
Hi im ashley!! this is my NEW livejournal!! so add me and have fun reading what i write..i love you all bye!! |
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